Song of Desperation
by Koji Inari
Summary: Cloud is a writer trying to sell his book, but Leon says it's too dark and sends him to a part time job with his brother Riku. Riku accidently reads Cloud's manuscript and falls in love. Can Cloud make this twisted grim fairy tale come true? Yaoi CloudRik
1. Chapter 1

-1**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix, Final Fantasy, or any mumbo-jumbo like that, I just write the fan fiction.

**Rated**: M or R if you like

**Warning**: Yaoi, meaning guy on guy action. If you no like that, then don't read this, or anything I write here for that matter. If I get a flame yelling at me about the Yaoi, you will get a very nasty and biting response from me, one guy and I had a huge fight over a flame he sent me…haven't heard from him since…Mwahahaa

**Song of Desperation.**

"_Damn the darkness inside me, the darkness that keeps me from seeing what is truly _

_important. The darkness that holds me where I am with no improvement and no remorse. As much as I hate I still love, and I can't drive from me what is driving me over the edge. I cannot get rid of the darkness in my heart, I want the light, but I cannot find it. I want to see those that I once loved, but now only see as lumps of meat. My life has gone down the drain and I am nothing more than a shell of my former self._

_And it is all his fault. Though nothing logical can support that theory, it must be true. It is all his fault that I am how I am now. I trusted him, I helped him, and now I'm left in the dust, left on my own to fend for myself. And can't do it. I'm weak, and my own frailty is what drove me to such desperate measures. _

_I've let the darkness in, and it has eaten me from the inside out. I'm desperate. A creature of the darkness searching for a single point of light that will guide me out of this pit. "_

"Wow, dark enough for you? Jeez, I never figured you to write such dark stuff."

Cloud leaned back in his chair, examining Leon's features. His eyes lingered on the scar that slashed boldly across his face. For a moment his thoughts went to that scar, what had made it, was it an accident? Or a fight maybe?

Leon cleared his throat. "Cloud, are you listening to me?" Cloud brought his eyes up to meet Leon's and nodded to show that he had in fact, heard him.

"Yeah Leon, I know, it's dark. But the whole book is dark, it's called angst. You know, the futility of human kind? The horrors of the world?"

Leon sighed and handed the manuscript back to Cloud. "I'm sorry Cloud, I can't run this."

"What do you mean you can't run it? You haven't even read the first chapter!" Cloud pushed up out of his soft leather chair and pounded his fist's on Leon's hardwood desk. "This is one of the best things I've written!"

"I'm sorry Cloud, I can't run it. There is too much stress in people's lives as it is, sales figures say that people buy more humor and less horror. Feel-good is up, depressing is down."

"Do you really expect me to write that kind of garbage? You know the only kind of humor I can appreciate is irony!"

"I'm sorry Cloud, you have to adapt. Tell you what, I'll give you a four month break. Bring me back an outline for a more promising story, and we'll write up a contract."

"Leon, I'm one of you're best friends, and I know this will sell, can't you make an exception? Just this once? Try just a few copies, if it sells, you can do more. Come on Leon, I need the money!"

Leon shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry Cloud, this is the best I can do for you. If I make an exception it could mean my job. Sales are down, if I can't meet my quota…"

"Leon…"

"No Cloud. I can't do this for you, I'll give you four months, bring me something I can sell by then and I'll help you. But until then there is nothing I can do."

Cloud growled and glared angrily at the planner that lay open on Leon's desk. Appointments and red marks were scratched all over it, every moment of Leon's time would be taken up for the next week at least, and Cloud new that most of the pages for the next month looked the same. He had had a hard time getting in to see Leon at all.

"Cloud…I understand what you must be thinking. But you can't blame this all on me, you were the one that decided to become a freelance author." Leon looked at him with sympathy. "My brother owns a small café, I can get him to hire you part-time. That at least will pay the bills till you can show me something ok?"

Cloud nodded and fell back into the squishy leather chair exhaustedly. As Leon picked up the phone to call his brother, Cloud took another look at his manuscript. The big bold letters of the title page blared out at him, as if to mock him. "Song of Desperation" it said. "By Cloud Strife"

"Right, my own song it seems…" A tired sigh escaped Cloud's lips. He had worked on this story for over a year now. It was the best thing he had ever written. It was just over 500 pages and recounted the tale of a lost soul who turned to all modes of magic and science to bring back his dead lover, but was horrified to find that, when he finally succeeded, she came back as a demon. Desperate, he journeyed to hell to bargain with the devil for her soul. He failed, and both of them were sent into the fiery pits of hell to burn together for eternity.

Sure it was a little angsty, but it was a great book. Cloud doubted if he could ever write a finer piece of Literature.

Leon hung up the phone and cleared his throat to get Cloud's attention. "My brother has agreed to hire you part-time. The only condition he had was that you stay at his house."

Cloud looked up in mild confusion. "Stay at his house? Why? I'm not so poor that I can't afford an apartment." That of course, was untrue, he had been evicted this morning, but he wasn't about to let Leon know that.

"Oh come on Cloud, think of it as a blessing, the problem is he cant afford to pay you, but if you stay at his house he'll feed you and you won't have to pay rent. I think that is more than enough until you can make some money on your own."

"So you're saying I work at this guy's café and I get a free room and food?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying."

Cloud sighed and reviewed his options. He could accept this offer and try to write something for Leon, or he could go to another publishing company and probably starve and live on the streets for about a month or more. Currently Leon's offer was the best he had.

"Fine. I'll stay at you're brother's."

Leon nodded and pulled out a piece of paper and pen. "I thought you might, here this is the address. He lives above the café, one of those half business half home kind of things, anyways he's by the college so you'll have access to any information at the library there. From what he said he's only busy in the afternoon and around lunch. And remember, I want an outline for something better in four months ok?"

"Yeah yeah, I got it." Cloud got up and snatched the piece of paper from Leon's hand, scanned the address, and shoved the paper into his pocket. "Thanks Leon, though I still wish you'd have just taken the damn manuscript."

"I'm sorry Cloud."

"Yeah yeah, I know." Cloud responded as he left, slamming the door to Leon's office.

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Random idea I had, and I wanted to try a weird partner. Riku and Cloud sounded cool after reading 100 steps to Somewhere by Page of Cups. Anyways, Cloud as an angst author sounded cool, so that's what I made him. Hope you like it.

R&R please, cause if you do, I'll love you forever, and we all know that that is the best thing ever…..plus….I may be able to get you Cloud's autograph!!…maybe…


	2. Chapter 2

-1**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix, Final Fantasy, or any mumbo-jumbo like that, I just write the fan fiction.

**Rated**: M or R if you like

**Warning**: Yaoi, meaning guy on guy action. If you no like that, then don't read this, or anything I write here for that matter. If I get a flame yelling at me about the Yaoi, you will get a very nasty and biting response from me, one guy and I had a huge fight over a flame he sent me…haven't heard from him since…Mwahahaa

**Song of Desperation.**

Cloud wandered down University street looking for Leon's brother's café. When he stumbled across it, he grumbled in dismay. It was a quaint little coffee shop across from the college, nothing special. But it was small, and couldn't have more than 3 rooms per level. Cloud normally didn't like living in such close quarters, he wasn't a people person, but it was his only choice. Sighing, he walked in the door.

The place was empty this time of day and Cloud didn't see anyone at the register. He pushed the door open further to walk in and was startled to hear a soft ding announcing him. He looked around, but not even the ding had inspired any kind of attention.

"Hello?" he asked. Still no one answered. Tentatively he stepped up to the counter and looked around on the other side. No one.

"Is anyone here? Hello?" Cloud was starting to think the place was empty, and that he should leave. In fact that was exactly what he was going to do. But as he turned to leave he heard a voice call from another room.

"Hold on a minute, I'm coming!" Cloud turned around to see where the voice had come from, but couldn't see anything.

"Hello?" he asked again.

"AHHH!! #$"

Cloud flinched as something made a loud crashing noise. It sounded like it was coming from the storage room. "You ok?" he asked.

"Oh yes, I'm just peachy! NOW GET THIS FUCKING THING OFF OF ME!" Cloud jumped and moved over to the storage room. When he pushed the door open he saw a gangly teenager with silvery-white hair buried under a pile of boxes that had fallen off the shelf. Hurriedly he ran over to him and started to remove the heavy packages.

"Damn, what do you have in these? Cloud asked as he removed a particularly heavy box. The teenager shook the rest of the boxes off and stood up.

"Flour, coffee, supplies, the usual crap. Thanks for rescuing me, I could have been under there for a week without anyone noticing…uh…who exactly are you?" The teen looked him over suspiciously. "You don't look like a college kid."

Cloud laughed. "That's because I'm not. I believe Leon called about me getting a job?"

"Oh yeah, you must be Cloud. I'm Riku, Leon's little brother."

"You don't look a thing like Leon."

"I'm adopted. Any who, I hope Leon explained that I'm not going to pay you anything except a room and food."

"Yeah he mentioned that."

"Good. I hear you're a writer, if you need a computer you'll have to get your own, I'm broke." Riku smiled. "But then again, you can use the college's computers, you can get in with a public library card."

"Yeah I know." Cloud scratched his head and looked around. "This place is bigger than it looks."

Riku nodded and picked out one of the boxes that Cloud had pulled off of him. "Yeah I know. Damn…I think I sprained my wrist, can you carry this?" He pointed to the box he was trying to pick up.

Cloud nodded and picked up the box easily. Riku walked out of the storage room, Cloud followed.

"You'll only have to work during the busy shifts, around lunch and in the afternoon. I can handle the rest. Really this job is going to be easy and you'll have a lot of free time, you can do whatever you want so long as it doesn't destroy or deface anything. Set that down over there." Riku pointed to a counter behind the cash register.

Cloud walked over and placed the package where he was told, then turned and looked at Riku. "Do you uh, think I could see my room? I'd like to get my stuff out of the middle of the floor." He nodded to the suitcase that lay abandoned in the middle of the black and white tiled floor.

"Oh right, this way." Riku moved around Cloud and started up a small flight of stairs that Cloud had missed earlier. Quickly, Cloud grabbed his luggage and followed the teen up the steps.

The second floor was divided into 4 rooms, two bedrooms, a small common room at the top of the stairs, and a bathroom. Riku gestured to one of the bedrooms to the right of the stairs. "That's your room, you can have the upstairs bathroom, I usually use the downstairs one."

"Err, thanks." Cloud replied. He walked over to inspect his new room. It wasn't big, there was only a single bed, a closet, and a small desk, and not much room for anything else. Cloud realized with dismay that there wasn't even a window.

"Sorry it's so small, but you can work downstairs if you want, it's more open down there."

"Right…" Cloud sighed and dropped his suitcase on the bed, he was about to turn around and ask Riku when he started work when he heard the downstairs door chime.

"Oh, it's 3:00, people will start coming in. Hurry up and get downstairs and you can start work." And with that, he left to go attend to his customers.

Cloud sighed and opened up his suitcase. It didn't take long to unpack, and soon he had everything out of his suitcase and in the closet or on his desk. The last thing he pulled out was his manuscript for Song of Desperation. He looked it over before sighing and leaving it on the bed. He barely got his suitcase shoved under the bed before he heard Riku call up the steps.

"Hey Cloud, can you come here a minute?"

"Coming!" He called, and walked down the steps to begin the next phase of his life.

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I know we haven't gotten into anything yet, but don't worry, it all starts soon. I may combine this chapter with the first one later, I'm not sure, but for now I'll leave it as two chapters.

R&R!


	3. Chapter 3

-1**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix, Final Fantasy, or any mumbo-jumbo like that, I just write the fan fiction.

**Rated**: M or R if you like

**Warning**: Yaoi, meaning guy on guy action. If you no like that, then don't read this, or anything I write here for that matter. If I get a flame yelling at me about the Yaoi, you will get a very nasty and biting response from me, one guy and I had a huge fight over a flame he sent me…haven't heard from him since…Mwahahaa

**Song of Desperation.**

The shop was fuller than Cloud expected it to be. In fact, he didn't think there would be enough room for all the customers. Every table was packed, and every stool at the counter was taken, kids even stood along the walls or sat n the windowsill. Every single one was a college student, and every one had some sort of coffee or cappuccino in their hands.

"Oh Cloud there you are, come here a sec would ya?" Riku waved him down as he was forced to step over some kids who had taken the steps as their seats. When he got around them he made his way over to the counter.

"Yeah?" Cloud asked.

"Take this to the back room and put it in the safe would ya? And don't run off with it or Leon will hunt you down and slit your throat." Riku handed Cloud a box. "Then come back, there are some people I'd like you to meet."

"But I don't know the comb-"

"Doesn't matter, just take it back there, you'll figure it out."

Cloud groaned and took the box before maneuvering his way around a bunch of college kids blabbering about some Government project that was due soon. Once he got into the back room though, he felt safe. There were no more people around him, it was quiet, and it was fairly dark.

Feeling at ease, he decided to see what Riku had for him to put in the safe. He opened up the box and peeked in. The first thing he saw was a piece of paper, on it was his name, and under that was a wad of money.

"_Cloud."_ It said. _"This goes in the safe, the combination is 23-4-16. If you rob me Ill hunt you down and shoot you. If you don't rob me, I'll give you a left over cookie. _

_-Sincerely, Riku_

Cloud couldn't help but to smirk. The note was cute, and fit along with what he could tell of Riku's personality. At least now he had the combination to the safe.

Cloud walked back past all the shelves, searching around for the safe. The storeroom was bigger than what he had first thought, but not too big. It was quaint, like the rest of the shop that Riku ran. A quick thought crossed his mind as to how old Riku actually was, but he ignored it. He was going to live with the guy for four months, he was sure that he could find out personal information later.

Finally he found the safe, stuffed back behind some boxes. Cloud fumbled with the dial and put the money box in the safe. Just as he was about to close it, he heard someone clear their throat.

Cloud shut the door and looked over his shoulder. A kid who looked about Riku's age was standing behind him. He had spiky brown hair was as lean and muscular as Riku was.

"What are you doing?" the kid inquired.

Cloud frowned. "I could ask you the same question. Who are you and what are you doing back here?"

"That was what I was going to ask you." Suspicion crossed the brunette's face. "Are you breaking into Riku's safe?"

"If I were breaking into it, would I have just put money into it? I work here kid."

The brunette blinked. Cloud could just see the rusty gears in his head trying to turn and process the information. "I didn't know Riku had hired anyone. Why didn't he hire me?"

Cloud shrugged and stood up. He was almost a foot taller than this kid, then again, Cloud was tall. "I don't know, or care. Leon sent me here, and I'm only here for four months anyways."

The boy's face brightened at the mention of Leon. "Oh, Leon sent you here. Well that's ok."

Cloud shook his head and pushed the kid's shoulder. "Get out of the storeroom. Employee's only."

The boy laughed and moved out of the way. "It's ok, Riku lets me back here cuz I'm his best friend."

Cloud growled and tried to grab the brunette. "I don't care, you're bothering me, move it."

The boy continued to elude him, and Cloud was staring to get angry. Finally, he caught the kid by the back of the shirt and proceeded to drag him out of the storeroom. By the time they got out of there, the place had calmed down. It was still full, but it wasn't crowded.

Riku looked up when he came out of the storeroom. "Oh good, you're back. I wanted to…Sora?" Riku stared at his friend who was now hanging from Cloud's grip. The brunette smiled.

"Hi Riku! I didn't know you had a new employee."

Riku signaled for Cloud to drop Sora, which he did. Sora hit the floor with a rather loud thump. Riku glared at Cloud but Cloud just shrugged in response.

"Sora, were you bothering Cloud?"

"No." Sora replied.

"Yes." Cloud said.

Sora glared up at Cloud then glanced back over at Riku. "So his name's Cloud. He's a decent catch, a little old though."

This time it was Cloud's turn to glare. "What is that supposed to mean shrimp?" He managed to miss Riku's blush at the comment.

Sora looked at Cloud strangely. "You mean you don't know? Riku's g-"

Riku shoved Sora toward the door. "Don't you have a math class to attend? You know I don't allow ditchers in here!" Sora smirked and winked at Cloud just before he was shoved out the door.

"What was that all about?" Cloud asked, raising an eyebrow at Riku. Riku shrugged and went back to cleaning up an already spotless counter.

"Nothing, he just gets a little excited over stupid things sometimes. Don't worry about it."

Cloud watched Riku clean the same spot over and over again. Finally, once he got tired of watching the rag going round and round, he ventured a question. "What was he going to say though? He said you were guh something…I couldn't hear the rest."

The rag moved faster and Cloud was staring to worry that Riku would burn a hole in the counter. "It was nothing." Riku mumbled.

"You sure?" Cloud asked.

"IT WAS NOTHING!" Riku looked up with a dangerous glare on his face. If looks could kill, Cloud would have combusted on the spot.

"Sorry!" Cloud backed up and put his hands up in a defensive gesture. It was about this time that he noticed everyone in the coffee shop was staring at them, and most were chuckling.

He looked back in time to see Riku disappear into the bathroom, a deep blush on his face.

'_Great.' _thought Cloud. _"I made him mad at me already. Just great.'_

_---------------------------------_

_­-Later that day-_

_--------------------------------_

Cloud was starting to worry. After curtly informing him that he would be upstairs the rest of the day, Riku had disappeared and not come back. Leaving Cloud to deal with the rest of his customers. Many of which ordered things that he didn't know how to make.

Sora came in later to help him, but he wouldn't elaborate anymore on what had made Riku mad. Cloud was left to sit and wonder what he had done to insult his young employer.

And while Cloud was downstairs suffering, Riku was upstairs grumbling about how dense Sora was.

Riku was sitting on the edge of his bed, running his hand through his hair. He wanted to kill Leon for sending Cloud over, not that he was a bad worker. Riku had only known him one day and he had already shown proficiency at the job. No, it was none of that. Riku just couldn't believe that his brother sent over such a gorgeous man when he knew that Riku was gay, and single.

"Conniving little bastard, I'll slip a razor in the next cookie I send him, yes, that will do. But it still doesn't fix the problem of Cloud…" Riku slapped himself on the forehead and let his hand slide down his face. "This is just great, I have a hott guy in my house, and I have no idea if he's gay, and I'm too afraid to tell him that I am, and even if he is, there's no chance in hell he'd consider trying someone like me. There's a 5 inch difference between us dammit!"

Riku thought about it a while longer, trying to figure out how to approach this problem. After much deliberation, he finally decided that searching Cloud's room was the only option.

Riku clambered out of bed and snuck into Cloud's bedroom. The blonde-haired man had stayed away from the upstairs to avoid Riku's wrath, which made it all the easier for him to sneak into Cloud's room.

A quick search found nothing really interesting. A pair of shoes, several pants, and several shirts. The only interesting pieces of clothing the man owned was a tight black muscle shirt, a pair of tight leather black pants, and a collar with spikes. That raised a little interest in Riku, but it didn't necessarily mean Cloud was gay, he could be a wacked emo, or some kind of freaky goth, or loner…too many stereotypes could fit those clothes, and they didn't fit any stereotype exactly.

There was only one other thing in the room that grabbed Riku's attention. On Cloud's bed, there was a binder, and the cover of it was marked with a title in large bold black letters, "Song of Desperation."

Riku flipped to the first page and read the first few paragraphs. The writing style was interesting, and the dark beginning captured his interest. He sat down on Cloud's bed and read over the whole first page, then the next, then the next. Before he knew it he was captured in the pages.

Riku had almost finished the second chapter when he heard someone coming up the stairs. Panicking, he dashed out of the room and ducked into the bathroom. He heard the footsteps stop a moment, then there was a knock at the door. "Riku?…You in there?"

It was Cloud. He probably wanted to use the bathroom. Silently Riku berated himself for ducking in there instead of his room, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

"Yeah, what do you want?" His voice came out a little harsher than he expected, but that was because he was stressed. He Didn't want to be caught with Cloud's stuff, Cloud might not like him if he knew he had been going through his stuff.

"Um…I'm going to lock up…is that ok?"

"Uh, yeah sure, go ahead." Riku knew it was too early to lock up, but he wanted to get Cloud out of his hair. He could afford to close early for one night.

"Okay…" Riku heard steps move away from the door, but then they came back. Riku's breath caught as Cloud knocked again. "Um Riku?…"

"What?" an exasperated Riku snapped.

"I'm sorry…" And then he was gone.

Riku stared at the door for a few minutes, not daring to breath or move. Cloud had apologized. He was sweet. Too sweet. Beneath that hard, un-talkative, unsocial exterior was a good man.

After making sure Cloud was gone, Riku bolted to his room, taking Cloud's manuscript with him. Once he was safely inside his room, he re-opened to the page he had been on and started to read again.

After all, the best way to see an author's soul, is to read his books.

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Like? I do, please R&R


	4. Chapter 4

-1**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix, Final Fantasy, or any mumbo-jumbo like that, I just write the fan fiction.

**Rated**: M or R if you like

**Warning**: Yaoi, meaning guy on guy action. If you no like that, then don't read this, or anything I write here for that matter. If I get a flame yelling at me about the Yaoi, you will get a very nasty and biting response from me, one guy and I had a huge fight over a flame he sent me…haven't heard from him since…Mwahahaa

**Song of Desperation.**

"You look tired." was Cloud's first comment when he saw Riku the next morning. Riku nodded and turned away from Cloud, scratching at his bloodshot eyes as he let out a monstrous yawn.

"I was up all night." Riku managed to get out between yawns.

"Really? Why?" Cloud asked. He was seated at the counter opposite of Riku, waiting for breakfast. Cloud couldn't cook work crap.

"Reading." Riku responded. He pulled out a pan and set it on the tiny oven. Cloud marveled how Riku had fit an entire kitchen behind that little counter of his. Everything was miniature, but it all did it's job well enough. Riku bent over to get into the tiny refrigerator for some eggs, and Cloud blushed as his employer's delicious looking ass was pushed in his face.

Cloud looked away and tried not to stare at the teen's ass. The last thing he needed was Riku kicking him out because he was gay. He couldn't afford to be kicked out. "Reading? Reading what?"

Riku paused a moment and looked back at Cloud, then stood up and kicked the fridge door shut. He had several eggs in his hands. "Oh, just something I picked up yesterday, couldn't set it down. I finished the whole thing."

"How big was it?" Cloud asked. "What was the title? Maybe I've read it, I consider myself a bit of a bibliophile you know."

"Oh I'm sure you've read it…" Riku faltered. He couldn't let Cloud know he had taken his manuscript. He only hoped that he wouldn't push the issue further.

Lucky for Riku, Cloud wasn't very inquisitive. He didn't ask anymore questions, and instead elected to open the shop.

"No, that's ok Cloud, we aren't open on Sundays." Riku replied, cracking the eggs into the pan.

"Really?" Cloud asked. He looked out across the street and saw lots of other businesses were open. "How come?"

"Don't need to be." Riku replied. He was flipping the eggs now so they wouldn't stick, but he messed up and broke one of the yoke's. "Damn…" he muttered. "You like your eggs scrambled?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh yeah sure." Cloud replied. He was watching various people walk by. A habit he picked up long ago. Back when he was in college, his English Professor had said that the best way to improve one's writing was to watch how people behave everyday. Building a character was the most important element in the story. If you didn't have a character that seemed real, people wouldn't want to read your stories.

"You look off in la-la land, what's up?" Riku came up behind Cloud with a plate full of eggs.

Cloud glanced at him then back out onto the street. "Research." he replied simply.

Riku looked at him for a moment then shrugged and plopped down at one of the tables. "What kind of research?"

"Character development." Cloud replied, taking the plate from Riku. He sat down and began to eat. "If you know how different people will act in the same situations, you can easily make a believable character that people will love, or hate."

"Can't you just make them do what you would do?"

"You could, but lets say Mr. Smith is a complete social outcast, rarely talks, has few friends, and tends to sit under the radar, an average Joe with nothing great going on with his life. He goes into the bank for his paycheck, and happens to get in the middle of a burglary. What would he do? But he isn't the only one there, George, an ex-soldier who'd fought in a war, is also there. He's a macho man who has a strong sense of justice and doesn't take crap from anyone. How would he react? And on top of that, you have to consider the personality of the burglar. Would he back down if challenged? Would he shoot first and ask questions later? An author would have to have multiple personalities to act out all those parts believably."

"I guess so." Riku replied, messing with his eggs. "But what if Superman came in and beat the crap out of the burglar? There, problem solved."

"Yeah, well what if the burglar turned out to be an alien from deep space? He'd whip out his kryptonite and Superman would be defenseless."

"You got me there…" Riku paused a moment to think. There had to be something he could do to help out Superman. "Well, then the alien's enemy race would come in and shoot him down with their lasers, thereby freeing Superman and saving the day."

"Ah, but Mr. Smith turns out to be the alien's accomplice. The aliens had taken over his brain years ago and kept him acting normal so they wouldn't raise suspicion. He shows his true colors and blasts away all your alien pals. Then he knocks superman out, robs the bank, and goes back to his alien organization who do experiments on Superman till he dies. Beat that."

Riku frowned. "I don't think I can…"

Cloud laughed. "Exactly. But you saw my point. A story can develop naturally, but without the characters, its nothing."

"Well that explains why I liked your book so muc- shit."

"You read my book?" Cloud asked.

"Err….yeah, you left it on your bed and…it looked interesting…so…"

"So you read it."

"Yes…" Riku looked down at the floor, his eggs forgotten and cold.

"But you liked it?…"

"Yeah…it was awesome, kind of sad, but awesome!"

"I love you!!!!" Cloud suddenly pulled Riku off of his chair in a big bear hug. Riku choked, but otherwise didn't react. He was too busy trying to process what Cloud had just said.

Finally Cloud set him down and smiled at him. "I've been waiting for someone to like my book! I knew it was good…"

"Err…yeah, the book…." Riku was still dazed, but he was happy. Cloud had said he loved him.

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I should write more, but I'm tired.

R&R!


	5. Chapter 5

-1**Disclaimer: **I really wish I did own Square Enix, or Kingdom Hearts, or Final Fantasy, or anything like that. I'd be rich! Yes….but I don' so sorry.

**Rated**: M or R if you like

**Warning**: Yaoi, meaning guy on guy action. If you no like that, then don't read this, or anything I write here for that matter.

**Song of Desperation.**

Several days passed without anything interesting happening. Cloud spent his free-time at the college trying to find inspiration for a new book and Riku spent his free-time thinking about Cloud.

It was about a week after Cloud had first come to live and work with Riku that disaster struck. Cloud was in the college library looking up writing prompts on the net when he suddenly felt a pair of arms snake around his neck and pull him back against a muscular chest. Startled, he ended up upsetting his chair and falling over.

"Ha ha, still as excitable as ever eh Cloud?" Cloud stared up into the bright eyes of his former lover, Zack. (not sure what color his eyes are…)

"Zack? What the hell are you doing here?" Cloud growled. Zack offered a hand to help him up, but Cloud ignored it and got up himself, causing Zack to frown.

"I just happened to see you in here and I thought I'd come over and say hello, that's all."

"Yeah right, I bet if anything you're stalking me."

"Me? Why would I stalk you? In case you forgot I was the one to break up with you."

"Do you have a point?" Cloud glared at his ex for a moment before setting the chair back up and shutting off the computer. "Because if you don't I'm leaving."

"Whoa, slow down there, you don't need to leave on my account." Zack grinned. "You seem a little anxious to get away from me."

"Who wouldn't be? Now I suggest you move so I can leave." Cloud moved to push around Zack, but the brunette (I think his hair is brown…or maybe black? I'm not sure, I'm colorblind so I can't tell. As you can see, I don't know much about Zack) held out a hand to stop him.

"Don't you remember anything Cloud? You still owe me. You owe me quite a bit in fact." A fake friendly smile was plastered on Zack's face. Cloud wanted to punch him hard and knock that look to Kingdom Come.

"I don't owe you anything Zack."

"Oh yes you do. Don't you remember all that money you borrowed to pay your rent when things were down?"

Cloud stopped and glared at Zack. "You told me that was a gift between lovers. That I didn't have to pay you back."

"Did I? I don't remember, and a lawyer will fight that I never did say that."

Anger and disgust boiled up in the pit of Cloud's stomach. "You bastard!" he growled. Cloud grabbed the collar of Zack's shirt and shoved him against the wall, making Zack's head thump painfully against the brick structure. "You aren't seriously going to make me pay that back! You know I can't afford it!"

Zack grimaced and pushed Cloud's hands off his coat. "I can and I will. If you can't afford it then you'll have to pay me another way, one that won't involve the legal system."

"You sick bastard." Cloud growled. "I wouldn't let you sleep with me when I was dating you what makes you think I'll do it now?"

"It's that or we go to court and I take everything you have. You're choice."

"I don't have anything and you know it!"

"Then I hope you enjoy prison, because that is where you'll end up."

"You lying, conniving, sick son of a bitch!"

Zack smiled. "I suggest you watch your language. And keep your voice down, this is a library you know."

Cloud was at a loss for words. His mind had simply ceased to function. He had never dreamed that Zack would pull anything like this. Anger and frustration clouded his mind. He couldn't afford to pay Zack back, and he certainly wouldn't become the bastard's sex toy. But Cloud didn't want to go to prison. This was a bad situation, and one that Cloud wasn't sure he could get out of.

"I need time to get the money."

"Good boy, I was hoping you'd say that." Zack smiled that big fake grin of his and patted Cloud on the shoulder, causing the blonde to glower in disgust. "I'll notify you with a due date."

Cloud grunted and pushed away. He needed to get out of the vicinity or Zack would need an undertaker. He wanted to kill the bastard, to wrap his hands around his throat and twist till his neck snapped. Cloud's hands twitched at the thought.

"Oh and Cloud?" Cloud looked back to see Zack smirking at him. "Have a nice day."

-------------------------------------------

Riku was sitting at the counter, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper. Thoughts of Cloud were swirling through his mind. The man was an excellent writer, and Riku couldn't understand why his brother had turned him away. The more he thought about it, the more he found his brother to be a big jerk. Silently he made up his mind to give Leon a call at the first opportune moment and try to get him to publish Cloud's book.

Without warning, the door slammed open, admitting a very, very, angry looking Cloud.

"You ok?" Riku asked with a touch of worry. He had never seen Cloud so pissed. He looked like he was going to kill the next living thing that talked to him.

Unfortunately, that thing was Riku.

"Do I look ok to you?!?" Before Riku could answer Cloud continued. "No I am not ok! That sick fuck thinks he can do this to me?? To me!! When I get my hands on him I'll kill him! I don't care if I get the chair I'll kill that guy! He thinks he can blackmail me into this does he?? I knew he was trouble the moment I set eyes on him! Why the hell didn't I just ignore him?? Dammitt dammitt dammitt dammitt dammitt dammitt !!!!!!!!!!"

Riku just stared at Cloud with his mouth slightly open. He had no idea what had happened, but whatever it had been, it had gotten Cloud more pissed than he had ever seen. "Cloud?…"

"WHAT???" Cloud turned his full attention to Riku, causing the silver (or white?…) haired teen to back up a step.

"Uh…I'm sorry?…" Riku was scared. He didn't want to piss off Cloud anymore than what he was.

Cloud saw the fear on Riku's face and started to calm down. The last thing he needed was to make an enemy out of Riku. He was just so pissed about Zack that he didn't know what to do. "No, I'm sorry Riku…" Cloud took a deep breath and tried to calm his thoughts. It helped some, but not really. Anger still coursed through his veins.

"Are you going to be ok?…" Riku had moved closer now that he was sure Cloud wasn't going to strangle him. Concern shown in the teen's eyes.

"Yeah…I…I guess I am…." A sudden wave of hopelessness washed over the blonde and he collapsed on a stool by the counter. "I can't believe him. That bastard…" Cloud smacked his forehead on the counter and stayed there, not moving. Riku stared at him, unsure of what to do. Finally he reached out and gently patted Cloud on the head, letting his fingers run over the smooth spiky hair. Surprisingly it was soft, not stiff like he had thought it would be.

Cloud let his head fall over so he could look up at Riku. A weak smile formed itself on his lips. "I'll be ok…sorry for blowing up at you."

Riku continued to gently pet Cloud's hair, unwilling to let those soft spikes leave his fingers. "It's alright Cloud, don't worry about it. You were angry."

Cloud sighed. "I just wish that bastard would leave me alone."

"Who's this bastard you keep talking about?"

"…" Cloud wasn't sure how to answer this, he couldn't tell Riku the whole situation or he'd find out he was gay, but then again , he felt like he owed the teen some sort of explanation.

"It's alright Cloud, you don't have to tell me." Riku pulled his hand out of Cloud's hair, making the older man want to whimper. He had liked the feeling of Riku's hand in his hair.

"I'm sorry Riku."

"Don't worry about it, but just so you know, you can tell me anything ok? I'm not an enemy."

"Thanks Riku."

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Oooo Zack is the bad guy! Yay. Anyways, Happy New Years, hope you liked this chapter!

R&R


	6. Chapter 6

-1**Disclaimer: **I really wish I did own Square Enix, or Kingdom Hearts, or Final Fantasy, or anything like that. I'd be rich! Yes….but I don' so sorry.

**Rated**: M or R if you like

**Warning**: Yaoi, meaning guy on guy action. If you no like that, then don't read this, or anything I write here for that matter.

**Song of Desperation.**

"Cloud, can you do me a fa-?" Riku walked into Cloud's room, then immediately walked back out. Cloud was in the middle of changing…his…pants…

"Come in, I'm decent." A light blush could be seen on both Cloud's and Riku's face. Though Cloud _had_ been in boxers, it was still an embarrassing act, having your employer walk in on you while changing your pants. When Riku did reenter Cloud's room he felt as if he were going to faint. Cloud was not wearing a shirt, seeing as he had just woken up, and the sight of Cloud's well-muscled chest was making Riku feel more than a little flushed.

"Um Cloud uh…I was wondering if you could t-take over the shop for today? I need to go somewhere and I was h-hoping you could keep things running till I come b-back."

Cloud pulled a shirt out of his closet, and Riku almost drooled when he saw it was the tight black muscle-shirt that he had seen earlier. Cloud normally wore fairly loose shirts, and this was the first time that Riku actually got to see Cloud wear something, dare I say it, sexy.

"Yeah sure, where are you going anyways?" Cloud pulled the shirt on over his head.

"Um, just need to pick up some stuff."

"You checking me out?" Cloud laughed, smiling at Riku.

"NO! WHY WOULD I BE CHECKING YOU OUT??!!"

"Whoa, chill, I was teasing jeez." Cloud held out his hands in a defensive gesture. "Didn't mean to make you angry."

"I'm _not_ angry."

"Your eye is twitching, if that isn't anger I don't know what is."

"_I said I'm not angry!"_

"Ok chill, sorry."

Riku stalked off. In truth he wasn't angry, he was nervous. Cloud was having a bigger effect on him than he wanted, and it was getting harder for him to not jump the man. But he couldn't help it, Cloud was just so damn _sexy._ The way he talked, usually without much emotion unless he was riled or playful, the way he got so nervous in crowds, the way his butt wiggled just slightly when he walked. Everything about the man was perfect, especially his writing.

Speaking of writing, Cloud had seemed to have gotten the idea that he needed for his book. He'd often spend long hours in the backroom scratching away on a pad of paper, or scribbling down random notes when something interesting caught his eye. It was almost as if he were desperate for some reason, trying to hurry up and complete his task. Riku silently hoped that it wasn't him, that Cloud didn't hate him for some obscure reason. If that were true Riku would probably die of regret. He wanted Cloud to be happy. He'd fallen for the man even though he'd only known him a week and a half.

Riku was not one to believe in fairy tales, nor was he the type of person to admit that there might be a possibility of love at first sight or soul mates. All that lovey-dovey crap could be reserved for cheap romance novels and Disney movies. What he was experiencing was lust, something that every teenage boy experiences at least once in his life. It just so happened that the object of his desire _lived_ with him.

Riku sighed and made his way downstairs and out the door. He jumped on his bike and rode out of there before Cloud could make him feel worse.

The whole way to Leon's house he kept picturing Cloud in his boxers without a shirt.

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Cloud still found it hard handling the daily rush, especially without Riku there. He wasn't a people person, and the only person he could be around without really being pissed off or quiet was Riku. Most of the customers thought he was snobby, or mute. He rarely talked when he didn't have to.

"Hey Cloudy where's Riku?" Sora walked in, or should I say _bounced_ in. The kid was always too happy.

"He left on some errand, he probably won't be back for a while…Why are you here? You usually only come during the busy hours."

Sora looked away sheepishly. "I'm ditching ok? I hate my class, the teacher is a total prick, so I was coming over here to see Riku and talk about stuff."

Cloud grunted in response and leaned against the counter. "Well if you're going to hang around here and annoy me the least you could do is order some coffee. I at least know how to make _that_."

"Do you honestly think I have any money? I'm broke, if I had money I wouldn't constantly be over here bugging Riku for handouts, speaking of which…" Sora edged closer to the counter, his eyes intent on a plate of cookies resting there, but his plan was quickly thwarted as Cloud slapped his wandering hand with his own.

"If you want a cookie it's a buck, fork it over or you leave hungry. Riku may give out handouts but I don't."

"Sourpuss." Sora growled. "You're just mad because Riku isn't here to keep you company."

A slight blush rose up in Cloud's cheeks. "What do you mean by that? Are you insinuating that I'm gay?"

"And what if I am?" Sora smirked and leaned on the counter, as if taunting the blonde. "There's nothing wrong with being gay."

"Are _you_ gay?"

"Yep." Sora replied. "And so's Riku."

Cloud's world felt like it was hit with a semi going 300 mph and then lit on fire. Riku…was…gay…

"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." Sora smirked. "Or are you just a little shocked by the news?"

"Riku's g-"

"Yes"

"And I-"

"Yes."

"And yo-"

"Yes."

"…" Cloud needed time for this news to sink in. True it made things a little easier, he could be more open with Riku now, but it didn't necessarily mean anything other than that. Riku was a young teen, he'd be interested in other teens, not older men. Not that Cloud was interested in starting a relationship with the boy, no, that might not even be legal depending on how old Riku actually was. But even if it were legal, there would be so many problems, and then you'd have to think about them _living _together and all sorts of other things…

Cloud's thoughts were interrupted as Sora waved a hand in front of his face. "Man, you look like a deer caught in the headlights, you ok?"

"Yeah fine…" There was also the Zack thing to worry about, he couldn't commit to something as long as that predator was out there…and so many other things to consider. There were a lot of pros and cons to starting a relationship with Riku (if he decided to be interested, or if Riku showed any interest) and he'd have to weigh his options carefully.

A sudden inspiration came to the top of Cloud's head. This whole thing was a great story, almost a fairytale of sorts. If he could somehow take this story, and twist it around to fit the public's demand for entertainment….yes…that just might work…there would be plenty of irony, a smidgeon of happiness, a nice dark twist here and there, maybe magnify certain parts…

"Cloud!"

"Ahh!!!!" What do you want??? Jeez!!"

Sora laughed, mirth sparkling in his eyes. "Wake up man, you've got customers coming."

Cloud looked out the window to check and sure enough, a small pack of teens, fresh out of class, were headed in his direction. "Stay out of my way," he responded to Sora before getting ready for the evening rush.

"You're welcome." Sora mumbled.

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Hee hee, confession in the next chapter! And soon more crap from Zack, he's really going to put pressure on our happy shop owners. R&R!


	7. Chapter 7

-1**Disclaimer: **I really wish I did own Square Enix, or Kingdom Hearts, or Final Fantasy, or anything like that. I'd be rich! Yes….but I don' so sorry.

**Rated**: M or R if you like

**Warning**: Yaoi, meaning guy on guy action. If you no like that, then don't read this, or anything I write here for that matter.

**Song of Desperation**

Cloud waited in anticipation for Riku to come home. He wasn't sure exactly how to approach this, there were many things he could say, but only the right words would convey his thoughts exactly.

"You look horny." Sora called, making Cloud jump.

"I am _not_ horny." Cloud replied, glaring at the brunette. He glanced around to see if anyone else had heard him talk, and sure enough, several kids were chuckling and glancing in his direction.

"Oh come on Cloud, you know that I know that since you know Riku's gay you're going to try everything you can to get into his pants."

Cloud growled and glanced around again. "Not so loud, and I most certainly do not want to get into his pants."

Sora chuckled and plopped his butt down on one of the stools by the counter. "Yeah right Cloud, you're a guy, and I know guys. You'll be with him a week or less before you two do it."

A deep blush appeared on Cloud's face, and he wiped the counter a little harder. "Sex isn't all I think about you know. I may be a guy, but I have a brain."

"Yeah, and like most guys, it's in your pants."

"You speaking from experience? Or just trying to embarrass me?"

"Both," Sora giggled.

"I didn't realize you were such a little slut before now."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Look Sora, I'm not shallow, I don't want to get with Riku just for sex, if I get with him, it will be for a relationship."

"Yeah, you never were one for sex. Glad to see you trying to start a new relationship though."

Cloud whirled around, eyes wide as he recognized the voice. Zack stood in the doorway, an angelic smile on his face. "Good to see you Cloud, how've you been?"

Sora looked between Cloud and Zack, confusion plain on his face. "Cloud? Who's this guy?"

"An asshole and a blackmailer."

"Oh come now, don't be so harsh Cloud. It's not like I've done anything to you."

"Yet," replied the blonde. "Why are you here? You know I can't raise that much money in that short amount of time."

"I know, I just stopped by to see how you were doing."

"Well get out. I don't need you here."

Sora watched the exchange with apprehension. "Err…Cloud?"

"What are you going to do? Kick me out?"

"If I have to yes."

"You know, if you do that, you'll cut a few weeks off your allotted time."

"Cloud…"

"You bastard."

"Cloud!"

"What??" Cloud glared over at Sora, and out of the corner of his eye, saw something silvery white. Riku's hair. "Oh…"

Riku waltzed in, glaring at Zack, Cloud, and Sora.

"Um…Hi Riku….How long have you been standing there?…"

"Not long enough." The teen replied. "Tell me what's going on before I kick all of you out."

"Well…Riku …err….you see….I…."

"Oh cut the crap Cloud." Zack glanced from Cloud back over to Riku. "You're little boyfriend over here owes me a lot of money. If he can't pay it, I'll be suing him, unless he can find something else to pay me with…"

"Sick bastard…" Cloud growled.

Riku looked back and forth between the two, then raised an eyebrow at Cloud. "So this was the guy you were all upset about the other day."

"Yes…this is him."

"Why do you owe him money?"

"Because he needs to pay me back for the rent he borrowed. I paid my share when we were living together, so now he needs to pay me back."

"Living together?" Riku asked, a bit surprised by the news. Cloud groaned and closed his eyes. He had wanted to tell Riku he was gay, and keep Zack out of all this.

"Yeah, Cloud and I are former lovers."

"Emphasis on the word _former_." Cloud sneered.

"Alright, I'm going to get this whole thing straightened out. Guys?" Riku asked, looking at the people still gathered in the shop, most of who were watching the drama spread out before them. "Can I ask everyone to leave? I'm closing shop early."

There were a few groans and complaints among the crowd, but everyone eventually complied, leaving Riku, Zack, Cloud, and Sora alone.

Riku turned to glare at Cloud and Zack. He was angry, an emotion he had a right to at the moment. Angry that Cloud hadn't trusted him enough to tell him this, angry that Zack was using his friend in such a way, angry that he had to find out Cloud was gay from his former lover, and just plain pissed altogether. "Alright, I think someone better explain everything to the tiniest detail. If I'm not satisfied I'll kick you all out of here onto the street, and if you struggle, I'll call the police."

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Well, Riku is definitely angry….hope everything turns out ok…and so far Cloud hasn't gotten anywhere on his book. Time is not on his side….R&R!


	8. Chapter 8

-1**Disclaimer: **I really wish I did own Square Enix, or Kingdom Hearts, or Final Fantasy, or anything like that. I'd be rich! Yes….but I don' so sorry.

**Music: **This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race - Fall Out Boy

**Author's Note: **Long time to update, I know. But I got distracted with many other stories, including Dirge, which I recently completed. It's actually novel sized, coming it at a whopping 120 pages. If you like CloudXRiku, I suggest reading it. But beware, it's angsty.

**Song of Desperation**

Zack smiled his sick, twisted fake smile and sat down on one of the nearby bar stools. "What exactly would you like to know?"

"I think you better stay out of this." Cloud growled, clenching his fists. "You've done enough damage already."

"I don't think I've done anything Cloudy…I'm simply here to collect what's mine."

"Guys….shut up, seriously," Sora sighed.

"Thank you, Sora." Riku turned to look at the two older men. His eyes drifted over Cloud, then over Zack. He already hated Zack, the man was an asshole, it didn't take a scientist to see that. "Now…you two, shut up. Cloud…tell me what's going on."

Cloud sighed and leaned against the counter. He ran a hand through his hair gently, making sure to keep his gaze averted from Riku. "Zack's going to make me pay him all the rent from when we were living together. But I'm broke."

Riku looked over at Zack, examining him. The man looked like a wolf. "That true?"

Zack nodded, that fake grin stuck to his face as if by superglue. "Pretty much."

"How much money are we talking about here?"

Cloud made sure his eyes were still averted. He sighed once, then replied softly, "Twelve grand."

Riku's eyes widened. "Twelve grand? That's an awful lot of money for just rent."

"We lived together for almost two years," Zack replied. "He owes me the money for all that time."

"Two years? Jeez, talk about commitment. How many times did you do it?" Sora was leaning against the counter, a cookie in his hand and a grin on his face. He had stolen the cookie while Cloud had been distracted. Unbeknownst to the others, 4 more cookies where shoved into his jacket pocket.

"That is none of your business." Zack growled, losing his cool for a moment. He looked scary without his grin.

"We never did." Cloud snickered. "I wouldn't bottom for him, he got pissed, we never did it. Besides, his dick is the size of a Vienna sausage, not the greatest tool for sex."

_That _ got a kick out of the others. Riku and Sora both started laughing. Zack only flushed with anger. "Oh yeah? You think you're really funny don't you? Well, we'll see how funny you think it is when I say that your deadline is one month."

That shut up all three people. Cloud choked and stood up straight, a look of pure horror across his face. "You're fucking with me. One month? How the hell am I supposed to get that much cash in one month?"

Zack shrugged and grinned again, only this time it was an evil, malicious grin. "I guess that's your problem. Otherwise, you're going to be _sucking_ Vienna sausage for the rest of your life."

"You sick fuck, I'll never do that."

"You wouldn't want your little boyfriend here to lose his shop would you?"

Cloud's eyes widened. "You can't do that!"

"Can't I?" Zack hissed. "You live here and are employed here. By law, I could sue your ass, and get him in trouble as well. You mess with me, and I'll take _everything_." The older man stood up and pushed past Riku, heading toward the exit. "Have a good day."

Once the man was out the door, Sora's eyes traveled slowly to Riku. The silver haired teen's eyes were wide at the prospect of losing everything. "He….he can't do that can he?"

"I don't know…" Cloud whispered softly. "I'm not a lawyer, for all I know he can." He took a deep breath and stared up at the ceiling. "And Leon wonders why I write angst."

"Well….we'll just have to find a way to raise the money." Sora stood up and looked between his two friends. "I mean, how hard could it be?"

"I'm broke," Cloud replied, leaning down and resting his head on the cool countertop. "And I'm not getting paid for working here. Not to mention that it'll take a hell of a lot more time to circulate a book even if I had one. There is no way in hell I could raise twelve grand in a month."

"I don't even make that much in a several months…" Riku said, sitting down next to Cloud and running his fingers through the older man's hair. "I'd help if I could, but I'm totally useless in a situation like this."

Sora looked between them, then smiled brightly. "You two are so cute together…when are you getting together?"

Riku's hand immediately pulled away from Cloud's skull. Both their faces flushed and they looked in opposite directions. "What makes you think we're getting together?"

"Oh come on…" Sora pouted. "I mean, look at you two, you're like a match made in heaven."

"We have more important things to worry about than relationships," Cloud said. "Besides, I should leave. If I don't live here, Zack can't take your place."

"Screw that," Riku responded. "I'm not kicking you on the street over this. We'll work this out somehow, but I'm not going to abandon you like this. You're my employee, but more importantly, you're my friend. And whether that develops into anything more we'll see." Riku looked up into Cloud's eyes and smiled slightly. "I'm not going to make you go thorough this on your own."

Cloud smiled and leaned over the counter as far as he could so he could hug Riku. "Thank you…"

"Aw…how cute!!" Sora squeaked, just before one of the kitchen knives somehow found it's way into the counter next to his arm.

"Out….now…." Riku hissed.

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There you go…. Sorry I've taken so long to update. But right now, I'm going to try and go back to some of my old stories and continue them. Hope you enjoy!

R&R

-Koji


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